다시 내꺼하자
Park Myungeun.
My MyuMyu.
O1O12O15 ; me and your favorite date.
I wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I love you. Just being with you has made all my dreams come true, I want to do everything I can to make you feel that way too. You deserved to be treasured for being the sweetest, caring, kindest and most thoughtful girlfriend any boy could ask for. And believe me, I do treasure you. I don’t know if you have any idea about this even after two months of being together, but you’re basically the brightest star that I’ve ever gazed upon on. I can’t think properly, I don’t think I have the talent to express it and stick to a point but in other words: I absolutely adore you. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.
Someone once told me that you can never really plan or decide and fall in love, I know now that it is true. That fateful day when I scrolled through the timeline, I know you were in a relationship with someone else, but I couldn't take my eyes off you. I knew in that very moment that I had fallen in love with you so helplessly. Though there are no words that can really describe how much you mean to me, I'm writing this letter as a feeble attempt to declare my love for you. Since the day you entered into my life, my life has been ceaselessly full of wonders. You have showed me the true meaning of life and happiness that comes with having a person by your side who loves you regardless of any pains and troubles that life has to offer you. You complete me and for that I'm yours forevermore.
There was once a time when I used to lie in my bed and gaze up at the ceiling, hoping and wishing that I would find one day, a person who could understand me just the way you do. You are the reason for every good that I have in my life, and you bring so much in this relationship that I would be lost without you. You have given me so much love and happiness that I cannot imagine a life where you are not there. I wonder about how I could have possibly been so lucky as to have you in my life. No woman has ever made me feel the way you do and it is in all the simple things that you do that the magic lies. You have so effortlessly become the center of my world that I know that I would be so lost without you. Just love me and leave me never, I want to grow old with you.
A million thoughts sit racing through my head when I try to write to you today; This letter is a testament to the love that I feel for you - a love that is difficult to put into words and can only be felt. You are the reason for the smile on my face when I get up in the morning and the reason why I can sleep peacefully at night. Your love has filled my life with new opportunities and adventures and there is nothing in this world that can ever take your place. I love you more than words can ever say. I just want to thank you for always being there for me. when I needed you the most; when I feel empty; when I feel really sad and I need someone to hold and hug so that I can feel better.
Sometimes, i find myself unconditionally racing towards you to tell you about my day, about the wonderful things that i wish to share- something I do a lot and every time you would laugh or shake your head and tell me it's silly. After all these time we spent together; I really wanted to make an impact. I mean. I don't wanna lose you. cause you're playing the biggest role of my life and I'm not sure that I can live without you. I'll be the missing piece soon, the missing fragment, the missing thing in your life. I want to be your everything, though I already am- or maybe not, I wanted to tell you that. I do want to be your everything, be yours, just yours. I want you to feel every ounce of affection that I give. I’ve grown to love you so much to the point where I don’t think I can love and be loved better by anyone else.
You’re as special as a snowflake, the prettiest snowflake out there, even though I might be biased when I say that. No, you’re really special, though-- every single part of you is just so fascinating and beautiful and yeah. I’m lucky to have you and you’re irreplaceable for me, remember that, alright? Whenever you’re not feeling so well and things are happening, you can always tell me about it even when I’m not around, I’ll try my best to cheer you up when I can. I would love to be yours for an eternity and more if there’ll be new words to be invented to name time duration.
It was a first. Because of you, I laughed, got mad, fought, and felt pain. It was all a first for me. I tried so hard not to let anyone in. But.. you.. were.. the person that I let into my heart. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I don't know why you make me feel this way.
Is it wrong if I start to miss you? Is it wrong if I long for you? I’m sorry for loving you.. I can’t let you go. I try to see you but I can’t see you. Should I let you go as if the wind is passing? Should I let you go with a warm smile? Should I pretend that nothing happened; as if we didn’t know each other and let you go? What do I do if I start missing you? What do I do if I want to hug you? What do I do if holding it in doesn’t work? Should I cry? There are words I couldn’t say yet.. Words that remain in my heart.. Words that I swallowed in thousands of times.. I am in love with you.
Every word you confide in me, every wonderful and terrible moment you share with me, melts me inside. You let yourself be vulnerable with me and trust(?) me beyond my comprehension.
I should've listened to Hongki. I shouldn've let you go. It's true.. that I do have feelings towards Jangten. But somehow it doesn't seems right- everything is so wrong. I don't feel the love when I'm with him; and I know he feels the same way too. How awkward we are when we were left alone... It's just- no. This can't go on. Which is why HE decided to broke up with me few days ago and told me to go back to you. And I don't feel any pain when he told me that he's breaking up with me. See- I'm hurting too much special people in my life. Even you.. It's true when I said that my roleplay feelings is affected to my real life- but I don't care.
I know that we are both broken; but every broken pieces can be fixed once again, and it might not be perfect but we can build a new story, don't we? .....
Myu, I'm sorry.
Will you, be my angel, once again?
I might sounds desperate but actually no- it's just... I've been longing for you. To joke around with you, to talk with you, everything.
I understand if you can't accept me... because it's my fault anyway. But they say, when two people love each other so much, they'll go through it. I'll be waiting for your reply.
From,
Your Joker who is missing you terribly.